I’m desperate for the same things most people are. I just let it show more.
Whether eyes closed or open, this nightmare keeps going.
I was taking a small nap in-between my shifts for black friday today. Lately, my dreams have been nothing but anxieties of the present and the past, so.. nothing pleasant to my psyche.
I decided I’d write this one down just because.. I don’t know why.
Anyways, the only dream I remembered of the moment was this:
The scene was a set a nice and relatively warm spring day, I was outside, wearing my pink dress shirt, pink tie and black dress pants. My hair was a little spiked up, like I was awaiting someone and in my dreams, I still am. This was the sign actually of a reunion, but not mine, Meagan’s. It was a family reunion of sorts for Meagan and her family/extended. I had asked her mom prior if I could show up to surprise her, but I didn’t recall the occasion until the end portion of the dream showed up.
Apparently, after the reunion, she, her mom and two cousins were going to move out of michigan and I was never going to see any of them again. So, being the person I am, I wanted to see her one last time. At first, when Meagan’s mom pulled her car over to me just prior to their departure, Meagan was confused. After noticing me, she broke down immediately in her seat. I opened the door, lifted her from her seat by the hand, hugged her and kissed her cheek. It felt so pure of emotion, but I found the situation hard to take in given our current standing.
I tried to fight the dream actually, but I couldn’t wake up from it. It wanted me to see everything, every emotion, every second we held on to each other for that one desperate moment in time. It seems like it lasted years in my head, even though it was probably just 5 seconds.
I don’t know why I’m even writing this…